Saying Goodbye

I was able to go to Edinburg, Virginia October 24th - 27th to visit my grandpa, aka Poppop. The reason for my visit wasn't the happiest - Poppop was recently diagnosed with Lung Cancer, but he had apparently been living with it for quite some time as the cancer had spread and was no longer treatable. I was there to say goodbye and to be of whatever support I could in the few days I was able to be there. Jared and Selah stayed home since we couldn't afford a bunch of airline tickets.

My mom and sister Emmy got there a few days after me and they will be there for a couple more days. It was stressful and weird, but a good experience anyway. Poppop was really up and down with different medications and such while I was there and I really only was able to talk to him a couple of times. It was hard to see him in such a weak state. Pop has always seemed so healthy and young for his age (I think he just turned 86). He's one of those people who rarely goes to the doctor and prefers not to take medicine when it can be avoided. My uncle told me that a few months previous he was mowing the lawn and rolled the riding mower over himself, put it away and never said a word. Two days later when his arm got bumped and he cried out in pain, Mommom (my Grandma) insisted he get it looked at and the X-ray showed that it was broken. So he must have a very high tolerance for pain. My mom must take after him...and Jay too, both of them nearly allowed their apendix's to burst by waiting so long to go to the hospital suffering tremendous abdominal pains. So it was quite a sight to see Poppop looking old and even frail for the first time in my life. He was in so much pain and had had such a rough day that it took a while for him to even know I was there. What a neat momment though when he looked up and saw me there. It almost makes me cry to think about it. His face registered with recognition as my Aunt Tookie said something about me being there, he said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?" He told me I looked beautiful a couple more times and said something about me having a baby. Eventhough he didn't seem like the tough Poppop I have always known, he was still that same kind and loving guy underneath it all. I am pretty sure he complimented me every single time he saw me in the almost 30 years since I was born. That's really saying something since we lived within a block of them until I was 18 years old. For a man who could be very rough around the edges, he really knew how to make you feel good.

Poppop passed away yesterday morning around 1:30 am. It's sad to know that he is gone, but we are all grateful to know that he is no longer suffering. My mom and Emmy are staying for the funeral which will be on Wednesday. I know that they have been sustained through this hard time and I pray that they will continue to be blessed for their patience and faith. I really learned a lot from the few days I spent with my family in Virginia and my testimony was strengthened. I know that death doesn't have to be a bad thing. I know that grief is a part of life. Most of all, I know now that tragedy and working together can heal wounds and cause years of hurt feelings to mend. When someone is giving such Christ-like service as caring for someone who is dying, it allows the atonement to work in their life so that sins can be forgiven and forgiveness can be extended. I am so grateful for the experience I had to see those things happen and to pray for it to continue to happen in the lives of my family members.

I am grateful for my trials.